Tuesday, May 15, 2012

We Should Just Let Our Dead Musicians Be Dead


A word about the death of musical heroes, by way of Tupac Shakur.  

Tupac, though many would have you believe otherwise, is dead.  He was shot and killed in 1996, while he was still in his prime.  His flow was groundbreaking, and his death may have sounded the death knell for gangsta rap as we knew it.  Also, he was in Digital Underground for a bit, and the Humpty Dance is really catchy.

None of this changes the fact that the man is dead, and nothing on this Earth can bring him back.  Except holograms.

That’s right, holograms!  They’re not just for Princess Leia and Will.i.am on CNN anymore! 

At this year’s Coachella, Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg took the stage with Tupac Shakur’s image, which was computer generated.  While not truly a hologram, the image sent shockwaves through the media, some lauding its benefits, others decrying it as a lame-ass stunt that was akin to unearthing the bones of a deceased national treasure and having not-consented-to carnal wisdom with the eye socket of its fleshless skull (at the risk of editorializing). 

I am not the biggest hip-hop fan in the world, but no right thinking person would decry the talent Tupac had.  He was an innovator, a rare poet, and the world of hip-hop, the world at large, lost an artist the day he died.  His memory deserves more than to be trotted out at will by whoever has enough money to project his image onto a stage.

Someone else who deserves better than all that?  Freddie fucking Mercury.  Queen’s late front man was a master of stagecraft, songcraft, and above all else, vocals.  Any list of the top 3 rock vocalists of all time must include Freddie, and more likely than not, at the top.  Like Tupac, Freddie’s life was snatched away from him, and his song from us, far too early.  Freddie Mercury died of AIDS in 1991.

And, like Tupac, those who he once called friends want to use his image in new contexts, towards their own ends.

Brian May, Queen’s virtuoso guitarist, and recent PhD laureate, has been working on a holographic image of Freddie to use in the tenth anniversary of his musical “We Will Rock You.” 

But, Goddamnit, why?  The beauty of life is that it is fleeting.  I would love to have seen Led Zeppelin at the Fillmore in the 70s, the Ramones at CBGBs in the 80s, shit, I would love to have seen Mozart in Vienna.  But you can’t anymore.  These things were here for a brief shining moment, and then they were gone, like shooting stars, never to be seen again.  We’ll always have the music, but the magic will never be there.  To try to recreate it would be folly. 

And that, in the end, is what this is.  Taking images from past concerts and amalgamating them into new contexts doesn’t fulfill the desire to see these people in their heyday.  It just serves as a reminder that they’re gone.  The images remain, maybe, but the energy, the sheer charisma that these accomplished showmen had can never be replaced, and certainly can’t be matched by grotesquely parading their ghost across the nighttime stage.  These images delve deep into the uncanny valley, not sating a need, but creating a revulsion and tarnishing a memory.

I implore everyone with the technology and financial means: let our dead heroes rest.  It’s the least we can do for them.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Nerd Love pt. VI

   So my fine readers I have finally accomplished that which all who wish to can eventually accomplish. I have graduated from college. I know, I know I am impressed with myself as well. Now I know my updates have been a bit lax these last few weeks but you try writing a senior thesis on how sense of humor develops through social interaction and see how much free time YOU have! Jerk! Sorry that is neither here nor there. But safe to say I have all the time in the world now that I don't have being a student as an excuse for unemployment anymore. So to celebrate this momentous occasion I give you Nerd Love part 6. Please enjoy the tom foolery and I'll be writing again soon.

Nerds Do It Better

Nerd Love pt. VI


(in a grocery store Brent is on the phone looking at wine)
Brent:…Well because it is either them or my parents…that’s what I thought…Well she THINKS she can make soup which is really more our fault than hers…all right ill pick you up at 6 tomorrow. Bye…eight dollars for a blend? Well I can splurge I guess.
(from behind) Delivery girl Dawn: Well, hello
Brent: Jesus! Oh hey the delivery girl
Dawn: While I do love the title, you can just call me Dawn.
Brent: Right, so what brings you to this fine food based establishment.
Dawn: spying, I work as an investigator for fraud in the intelligence department of UPS.
Brent: Really?!
Dawn: No, I’m buying food.
Brent: Right, I swear I’m not as huge of an idiot as I have appeared to you in recent past.
Dawn: I really want to believe you.
Brent: kind of you…soooo…
Dawn: So I delivered a couple boxes to Greg’s shop the other day but you weren’t there, what gives?
Brent: Well, as much as Greg would like to believe that I do, I don’t in fact live there.
Dawn: Yeah, I was talking to him about you but then his wife started staring at me and banging things on the counter for no apparent reason.
Brent: Yeah she’s…troubled, we’re all very concerned…Wait you were talking about ME?
Dawn: Yeah, don’t let it get to your head I don’t trouble myself with guys who don’t know how to flirt. Later fly boy. (She walks away)
Brent: But isn’t that what we’re doing NOW…(to himself) she called me fly boy (Brent shakes his head, grabs the wine and leaves)
(Greg and Gwen's Apartment. Them and Brent and Casey are sitting around the table eating flat bread pizza)
Gwen: Sorry about the soup guys. I don’t know what happened I stepped away for a minute to get the second cup of curry and pumpkin seeds and when I came back it was all over the floor.
Greg: It will live as a mystery till the end of our days
Brent: Gravity works in mysterious ways (Brent and Greg fist bump under the table)
Casey: It’s okay because this spinach garlic flat bread pizza is delicious
Greg: Thanks, it’s my secret recipe pizza
Brent: its super secret, he’s killed for it before
Greg: I’ll kill YOU Casey, I’ll kill you dead
Casey: I…I don’t know what the recipe is.
Greg: You’re damn right you don’t.
Gwen: Thanks for the wine Brent but next time dip into your piggy bank and buy three bottles this one is already empty.
Greg: Well I’ll clear the plates and grab our bottle of that cheap red your mom gave us.
Brent: I’ll help (they head to the kitchen) so what do you think of Casey?
Greg: She’s nice, man. I like her, she laughed at my quip about how that homeless guy down the street looks like the Count of house Harkonnen so she is a winner in my book. There is one-nah never mind
Brent: What?
Greg: It’s nothing.
Brent: …ok, SO quick question. I ran into Dawn today at the store-
Greg: Really? She was talking about you a couple days ago.
Brent: YEAH that’s what she said
Greg: Wait, she TOLD you she was asking about you?
Brent: Yeah. What’s that about?
Greg: Do I look like I guy who understands the intricacies of the typical female mind?
Brent: No, but you know her better than me so I was hoping for a little insight.
Greg: Well if my Jr. High career taught me anything I’m pretty sure that if a girl is asking about you when you’re not around it indicates…something.
Brent: Helpful as always old friend.
Greg: That’s why I’m here
(In the dining area)
Gwen: So what’s football sex?
Casey: Excuse me?
Gwen: Oh, Greg was just telling me about it. You know boys, they tell each other everything.
Casey: Uh, I don’t really-
Gwen: Oh no need to be embarrassed. Me and Greg are into some WEIRD stuff. He likes to do this thing where he holds a toy light saber and- (Greg and Brent enter)
Greg: What are you doing woman?
Gwen: Just having some girl talk.
Casey: well it was certainly…talk.
Brent: Uh…Lets drink more!
Gwen: Here! Here!
(a couple hours later)
Casey: Thanks for a great night guys but some of us have real jobs to get to tomorrow.
Brent: That stings, lady.
Gwen: It was great to meet you for realsies Casey. Brent is a way too stupid for you.
Brent: OK really?
Greg: Just remember what I said about the pizza (Greg drags his thumb across his throat)
Casey: right. OK Bye.
(Casey and Brent leave the apartment)
Casey: Isn’t the recipe just garlic, spinach, cheese, and flat bread?

Brent: Yep