Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011: A Year

The Starks are right about that
   This was a strange year for me to say the least. I made my first steps into the tricky world of stand up comedy, I broke up with my long term girlfriend (better for all I assure you), Thor was a bit of a disappointment, and I began a healthy obsession with Doctor Who. Not to mention this crazy machine of humor, excitement, and constant fear of failure generator I called The Smoking Nerd.
   I started this website in April of 2011 as a small blog I would use to put my own personal ramblings about nerdom into the infinite Internet universe to see what would happen and to fulfill my own need for creativity. Then someone asked to also write on the website, my good friend Adam, and it snowballed into the mash up of ideas and nerds and seemingly unrelated posts about all things anyone and everyone could consider Nerd.  Now I get hundreds of hits a week, not a lot for some but a lot for me, and I have strangers following me on twitter. (still getting used to that) I know it is still in its fledgling state and will be till I graduate the ol'college in May and can put some money and full time attention into it but I have ideas, such big ideas. I am going to need creative, intelligent, capable people to build this thing up to what i want it to be and I know I have that in the people I naturally surround myself with as well as the people I haven't met/hired yet. So to those interested and those who don't know yet that they are interested in making this something new and fun, get ready this new year is when it gets real.
   This has been a strange, eventful, and powerful year of growth for me and The Smoking Nerd and I sincerely hope that that trend continues into 2012 for both me and all of you my faithful and random readers. I can't thank those involved both as contributors and fans enough for providing me with a semblance of a purpose and for assuring me I'm not just screaming into the wind. If you keep it up I will too. Sincerely thank you and a very Happy New Year (I really hope the world doesn't end this next year but if it does party at my place) and remember...

Nerds Do It Better


Thursday, December 22, 2011

Back to Hobbiton

   Finally! It has been a long time coming but the trailer for what will undoubtedly be the movie that makes me weep in 2012 is out. They can't take it back either!


Did you just get goosebumps too?

Nerds Do It Better

Monday, December 12, 2011

Nerd Love Part II

   Hey Guys! Part deux of Nerd Love here, Hope you enjoy it. And remember I always appreciate positive compliments about how awesome I am, also I like candy if you're in the giving mood.

Nerds Do It Better

Nerd Love (part 2)
(next afternoon. Brent walks into a comic book shop called Variant Lifestyle)
(A girl behind the counter)

Gwen: Brent! Thank god, I thought you killed yourself.

Brent: What? Gwen I saw you last week, why would you think I would kill myself?

Gwen: You laugh too much

Brent: I laugh too much?

Gwen: Yep, it’s always the ones who laugh a lot

Brent: So if I found less joy in life I would be less likely to suffer from depression?

Gwen: Exactly

Brent: I’ll work on it

Gwen: please do (she grabs Brent’s face) I worry about you

Brent: Thanks, where’s Greg?           

Gwen: upstairs signing for a delivery, will you remind him of our conversation? He’ll know which one

Brent: uh sure…I guess

(walks into the back and upstairs. Entering an office bumps into deliver girl)

Delivery girl: Oh hello

Brent: hello yourself, I find that phrase very offensive

Delivery girl: You find hello offensive?

Brent: Yes especially from attractive women. Makes it sound very insincere.

Delivery girl: Are you flirting with me?

Brent: I thought maybe I was but now I’m not so sure

Delivery girl: You’ll do better next time (she walks away)

Brent: So there’s a next time? (she leaves store)

(entering office, Greg is shifting random papers around)

Brent: who was that?

Greg: oh that was delivery girl Dawn

Brent: she’s cute

Greg: yeah she’s always the one who brings in our stuff from out of town suppliers, I think she makes Gwen jealous.

Brent: yeah she wanted me to remind you of some conversation?

Greg: HA yeah she caught me ogling dawns delivery truck

Brent: A worthy ogle

Greg: she said if she caught me again she would hunt Dawn down and force me to watch her slice her back end off

Brent: …your wife is a strange broad. You’re a lucky man.

Greg: don’t I know it, now let’s get to business. I have a couple options for tracking down your nerdy paramour.

Brent: I’m already scared

Greg: First, all night laser tag match downtown next week

Brent: sounds fun but will there be girls there

Greg: Yeah sure there will

Brent: adult girls?

Greg: well if you’re going to be nitpicky we can just stop this now

Brent: Next

Greg: There is a prostitute that hangs out in front of this diner a few blocks away and she complimented me on my TARDIS t-shirt so I figure-

Brent: STOP. What is the matter with you?

Greg: ok ok just trying to find the line

Brent: can you please take this seriously?

Greg: I am. I think you are going to like my next option

Brent: I’m all ears

Greg: Gwen’s brother Jerry is throwing a costume party on Saturday and he has a lot of single girl friends who will be attending. AND the theme is obscure characters from sci-fi movies

Brent: well I’m ridiculously in!

Greg: I thought so, I’m going as Lobot

Brent: Lando Calrissian’s administrative aide?

Greg: yep

Brent: nice

(at a diner with Greg and Gwen)

Brent: so what should I go as?

Greg: Of all the people fishing for ideas…

Brent: yeah it’s just two days away though, so little time to prepare

Greg: We should get the female perspective

Brent: well we could get Gwen’s perspective but it wouldn’t be very female

Gwen: …

Greg: ok what’s going on with you? You haven’t said anything the whole meal.

Gwen: …

Greg: I’m frightened

Brent: (panicking) Should we run? Should I run?

Gwen: What? Oh no sorry. I’m just trying to figure out why you haven’t brought up any of my friends?

Brent: Friends?

Gwen: My friends, Susan, Gabby, Joyce? You said they were all nice but that you weren’t looking for anything serious at the time, ringing any bells?

Greg: Ha

Brent: oh. Yeah they were really nice

Gwen: Yeah and you had many similar interests with all of them.

Brent: Yeah, yeah I did but they weren’t really…my type?

Gwen: Why?! You said they were great.

Brent: uh, ok when a guy says a girl is nice-

Greg: Duuude

Brent: How much damage could she cause?

Greg: It’s on your conscience, man.

Brent: When I guy says a girl is nice he means two things. One, that she probably was indeed nice and two, that she probably wasn’t that attractive.

Gwen: What?

Brent: yeah, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s a rather polite system I think.

Gwen: So when you said you thought my cousin was very sweet?

Greg: Fat

Brent: …A few extra pounds

Gwen: You actually said my friend Georgina wasn’t that attractive…

Greg: Hellhound

Brent: That may not have been her fault though, I think it was a full moon that night.

Gwen: Ugh…I told her to wax before going. But girls have similar codes as well.

Brent: like what?

Gwen: He’s a great guy.

Greg: ouch

Brent: That’s not good.

Gwen: He’s funny but any random excuse.

Greg: ow

Brent: That one stings.

Greg: yeah that is something we need to discuss, many nerds may not be up to your standard of…aesthetics

Gwen: oh don’t be so shallow

Brent: No he’s right, we of the nerdy persuasion are not always the most attractive.

Gwen: I consider us fairly attractive.

Greg: yeah but we weren’t always, remember high school?

Gwen: My lack of breasts at the time did lead to ridicule.

Greg: I may not have been the thinnest.

Brent: Wasn’t till sophomore year of college I got rid of all that damn acne.

Gwen: You should go as Gaff from Blade Runner.

Greg: Ha!

Brent: Well that was uncalled for, I do already have the cane and origami skills though.

Greg: I love you

Gwen: I know it

(they kiss)

Brent: Eck. Stop before I vomit on my meatloaf and gravy (looks at food) …I’d probably eat it anyway

(Walking from the diner)

Greg: Then he said it was all about the HENjamins.

Gwen: …I don’t get it

Brent: That’s because it was terrible.

(transsexual prostitute on the corner)

Prostitute: Hey Greggy

Greg: Hey Janice

Gwen: (stairs at Greg)

Brent: THAT is the prostitute you were talking about? She is clearly a man!

Greg: What’s your point?

Brent: God damn it Greg! What if I had agreed to that option?

Greg: I was kinda hoping you would.

Brent: (disgusted) Bleeeeh just BLEH (walks away)

Greg: See you at the party! (to Gwen) Should we go home and fool around?

Gwen: that seems in order.

Janice: Later guys

Greg and Gwen: Bye Janice.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Nerd Love Part I

  Greetings my fair nerdy brothers and sisters! I haven't posted an article in what feels like forever and I thought I would come back with one that is bursting at the seems with awesome. At least I think so anyway. I have been working on a play or screenplay or tempered ramblings of a mad man, whatever you want to call it, and i thought I would post it up as it got completed. I write mainly dialogue and the bare minimum of detail, I leave that to the imagination and also find it boring to write.
    If you have any criticisms please make them constructive but fair warning all criticisms, good or bad, will largely be ignored. So with that said I give you the first chapter/act/couple of pages of Nerd Love

enjoy
Nerds Do It Better


Nerd Love
                                   I’ve never been alone but I’ve never been lucky either

(at a cheap apartment near downtown Chicago)
Woman: We just don’t have anything in common.                                                                             

Brent: I’m not sure that matters, I mean it’s nice but highly overrated.                                                

Woman: You are OBSESSED with Star Trek

Brent: uh not really I’m more into Star Wars I feel the action and addition of some fantasy elemen-

Woman: See? No one cares!

Brent: Wha-! Well now you’re just being hurtful.

Woman: I don’t care Brent I’m leaving.

Brent: Pshh where will you go?

Woman: I’ve been seeing a guy across town (grabs her bags) Goodbye

Brent: Yeah, good, I’ve been seeing someone too, across (door closes) …my imagination.

(two weeks later at apartment, Greg enters and Brent sits soiled on the couch)

Greg: Jesus man, have you left the apartment at all this week?

Brent: Why would I? I work from home and there’s a 7-11 downstairs.

Greg: what have you been living on?

Brent: Fritos and… (reaches under couch and grabs bag) chili flavored Fritos.

Greg: Tell me you don’t go downstairs looking like that

Brent: I put sweatpants on

Greg: ok were going to the pub.

Brent: Fine but I’m wearing my sweatpants

( At Irish pub, Brent is cleaned up and wearing appropriate yet super casual clothing)

Greg: told you they wouldn’t let you in wearing a wife beater and several layers of shamelessness.

Brent: Fascists

Greg: So what’s going on man? I haven’t seen you at the shop in awhile, makes me worried you might be spending your time reading educational high-end literature.

Brent: (Gasp) perish the thought.

Greg: Answer the question.

Brent: What do you want me to say? I just haven’t been into the whole “world” thing.

Greg: This isn’t about her is it?

Brent: No, GOD no, I wouldn’t get back with her if you paid me. I was relieved when we broke up to be honest.

Greg: Then what is it?

Brent: …I’ve had some great, kind girls in my time but none of them ever really got me.

Greg: that’s not true what about-

Brent: No she understood me on a day to day basis but that’s not the same thing.

Greg: Soooo What? You’ve given up on the world because you’re tired of dating?

Brent: No, I’m tired of wasting my time on girls who I know I will just end up breaking up with. I want THE girl, one who loves star wars and going to midnight showings of terrible movies, whose witty and reads for fun, I guess I want a girl who is as complicated as me.

Greg: You are very Doctor…y

Brent: That’s it, I’m The Doctor without a companion.

Greg: Well if you wanted to date someone that much younger than you you would have to date an infant.

Brent:  she wouldn’t talk too much.

Greg: Yeah but she wouldn’t be able to hold her booze

Brent: True (they clink glasses and finish their pints)

Greg: You’re after a unicorn man but I can guarantee you won’t find it hiding in your room covered in dandruff and chili stains.

Brent: (sigh) Yeah I know but where do you start?

Greg: right here, right now. There are plenty of women at this bar.

Brent:  Oh man I don’t know…

Greg: I do. Come on you’re Hon and I’m Chewy, scratch that, you’re Chewy. Now let’s go slap this night with your presumably hairy cock.  

Brent: …Ok

(at table talking to two women)

Greg: So how do you two know each other?

Woman 1: We work together at the bank down the street

Brent: Cool, what do you guys do for fun?

Woman 2: We calculate the best interest rates for people applying for loans.

Brent: Oh. No, I said fun

Woman 2: I know

Brent: …ah

(Next table)

Brent: So are you here often?

Woman: No I just come to bars to help people from time to time.

Brent: That’s nice, help them how.

Woman: I try to convince people to abandon a life of sin and embrace Jesus Christ as their lord and savior.

Brent: …neat

Woman: Have you embraced Jesus?

Brent: (looks at Greg)

(next girl, at bar)

Woman: Rough night?

Brent: yeah you could say that. Nice stamp. ( stamp on woman’s hand)

Woman: Thanks just got back from a concert.

Brent: Nice what kind of music are you into?

Woman: oh I’m a country girl through and through

Brent: (Stands and walks away)

(leaving the bar)

Brent: Well this sucked

Greg: yeah

Brent: This didn’t just suck it was exceptionally terrible

Greg: yep

Brent: Like “I woke up and realized I forgot to turn off my gas oven and my cat who sleeps in front of it suffocated to death” horrible.

Greg: It was pretty bad

Brent: we need to stop coming to this bar, it’s full of nightmares and hopelessness.

Greg: ok fair enough but you’re looking for a nerdy girl, right?

Brent: that’s the gist of it yes

Greg: Then you need to go to nerdy places, meet me at the store tomorrow before close and we will come up with a game plan.

Brent: sounds like a semblance of an idea

Greg: good, still think you should have tried your luck with the Jesus freak, she seemed slutty.

Brent: Shut the fuck up Greg.

Friday, December 2, 2011

A Requiem for Napster

I thank you for coming. We are all here to mark the passing of a benchmark of human experience, a friend to most and an enemy to some, a soothsayer for the future. I speak, of course, of Napster, 1999 - 2011. Rest in Peace.

We come, however, not to mourn Napster's death, but to celebrate its life. It is near impossible to overstate the impact, both good and bad, that Napster has had on the music industry, and indeed on modern culture in general. To fully comprehend Napster's effect on life, one must examine the events leading up to its creation.

Music was once the exclusive province of the wealthy. In order to learn to play an instrument, one had to have access to that instrument. A lute was easy enough to make, and anything could be struck to create a rhythm. But going into the Renaissance, one had to be rich enough to buy an instrument, rich enough to afford a teacher, or rich enough to attend concerts to even experience music. (There is a scene in the film "Gosford Park" in which a gifted piano player is a guest at a party, and he sits to play. In the shadows around the room, we find practically the entirety of the waitstaff huddled, rapt by the music and enjoying the rare treat.)

Rudimentary attempts at recording sound began in the 1700s, with wax cylinders. Later, Edison would make waves by inventing the phonograph, thus bringing music into the home. The invention of the radio made music accessible to many homes. The record and the disc jockey became vital elements to experiencing music.

Vinyl records gave way to audio cassette tape. With the birth of the boombox and the walkman, music was now mobile. More importantly, however, music recording was in the hands of the common man. A radio/cassette player and a blank Maxell could enable the listener to record a song directly off the radio, making that song his to listen to whenever he wanted to. What's more, studio recordings purchased on tape or vinyl could be recorded onto blank tape, in whatever sequences the listener desired. Would-be boyfriends rejoiced when they realized they could show off their musical tastes to girls through the fabled and legendary "mixtape." The recording industry, however, lamented the technology, predicting doom for their archaic system of paying performers to record, and selling those recordings for a premium.

The collapse of the industry predicted never occurred. The medium was imperfect, a copy not being as sharp as the original, and a copy of a copy being worse still. There was another wave to this invasion of the recording industry on the horizon, however, and that wave went by the name "personal computer."

After tapes, compact discs hit the market with an explosion. The digital encoding of the sound brought a clarity and precision that was vastly superior to tapes and (yes, damn it) vinyl. Alongside the rise of the compact disc was the rise of the PC. If the sound was being encoded onto discs with computers, that same encoding could be pulled off and stored as files on a computer. Then came the personal disc burner, with which one could make a copy of any compact disc onto another compact disc. Because the information stored on the disc would not change in the slightest (unless them shits was scratched, which happened more often than I'd like to think about), what resulted was a precise copy of the original sound, with no degradation of quality.

The recording companies again cried foul. The efforts of the industry to curb the copying of music were widespread and, as we are about to see, ineffectual. Methods were developed to protect the information on the disc, preventing it from being uploaded into a computer. FBI seals were affixed to CDs, warning of copyright infringement and its subsequent penalties. This, however, did not stem the tide of copying and sharing.

There was one frontier left to music, and that frontier was the internet. One was always able to share information between two people on the internet. However, with the advent of Napster, the scale of such would increase exponentially.

In 1999, there existed forums where one could post information in the form of photographs, video, computer software, and music. These were, however, populated mostly by people who had a more comprehensive knowledge of computers than your average net surfer. Napster put together an interface that was a) dedicated solely to MP3 sound files and b) easy for anyone to use. One simply had to search for a word, and every file with that word would pop up. Depending on the speed of your internet connection, you could have virtually any song recorded ever within seconds. Then, you could burn that song onto a CD and have it forever. Or, as I did in college, you could simply play it through your speakers during parties.

This was revolutionary. Picture the California Gold Rush, when thousands poured into northern California looking for gold. However, picture all the gold being in a pile. Picture you walking up to the gold and throwing all of your gold into the pile. However, your gold was still in your pocket. You'd just made more gold and threw it in the pile. And you could fill your pockets with all the new gold from the pile that you could carry. Now, imagine that instead of California, it's the internet, and instead of gold, it's "Heart of Gold" by Neil Young, "Fields of Gold" by Sting, and "My Adidas" by Run-DMC.

The recording industry flipped. And this time, probably rightfully so. Lawsuits were filed. People were arrested. You'd here stories of young children being charged with felonies carrying sentences that would amount to their entire lives, simply because they'd downloaded the latest Britney Spears track.

The artists themselves even got into the mix. Lars Ulrich of Metallica famously sued Napster for distributing Metallica music for free, causing a huge backlash amongst their fans. (In response, Napster and Limp Bizkit teamed up to form a free tour, featuring opening acts Cypress Hill and, hilariously, Alcoholica, a Metallica tribute band.)

Napster eventually changed to a pay service, and though its true death has happened today with Napster's purchase by Rhapsody, its spiritual death was way back when it started charging its users.

But Napster's legacy lives on. There are now user-friendly interfaces for photographs (Flickr, Google Image), videos both illicit and not (YouTube, YouPorn), and even music (Lala [RIP], Grooveshark). There are still places on the internet where you can copy music illegally a la Napster (Pirate Bay, BitTorrent).

I'll always remember Napster as being there for me when there would be parties in the dorm room in that halcyon fall of 2000. We'd be enjoying our drinks, and the speakers would be blaring. Someone would say, "Hey, do you have that new Nelly track?" I'd just smile and say, "Not yet." And seconds later, there it would be, like magic.

Rest in Peace, Napster. Your memory lives on, as does my burnt copy of Rage Against the Machine's "Battle of Los Angeles."

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Modern Music: A Laugh!

Your man, Sir Simon Milligan, comin' atcha with a bit of commentary about the state of modern pop music. I'm sad to say that modern pop music exists, and that it is most likely here to stay. I'm happier to say that some of it may actually be worth listening to.

No, seriously. Two songs come to mind, and I ask that you come to them with an open mind.

Rihanna- We Found Love
Rihanna's public troubles with ex-boyfriend Chris Brown are now the stuff of legend and TMZ-prized snuff. She was abused, the relationship was hard, etc. Until now, we've never had an opportunity to know anything but the bad. Rihanna has put together a video that shows the good behind the public circus that her relationship became. Through over-the-top (yet effective) symbolism, Rihanna shows that she was in a relationship that provided what she needed, but at too high a cost. A heartfelt, devastating video that can only be experienced to be fully appreciated.

LMFAO- Sexy and I Know It
These party dudes have made no bones about their goals. They want to get drunk, party, and have sex with attractive women. While they certainly get props for referencing "The Godfather" in one of their songs ("I'm runnin' through these hoes like Fredo..." That shit is brilliant.), their crowning achievement to date is the song "Sexy and I Know It." This song is of the YouTube age, simply because one might be misled listening to the song, thinking it was serious. The video shows DJ Redfoo working out, walking into bars sans shirt, and generally acting like he's in good shape, where he's clearly not much to look at. Brilliant! DJs Redfoo and Sky Blu have joined the ranks of Spike Jones and PDQ Bach as mocking, very effectively, the music that allowed them to exist. This is clearly the end stage of pop music. Once LMFAO stop making music, we can simply go back to our humdrum lives

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Modern Warfare 3: Suck It Russians


Recently, we here at the Smoking Nerd had the opportunity to get our hands on Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, Infinity Ward's latest and greatest installment to the Modern Warfare series. Thanks to our good buddy at the local Family video establishment, we were able to play through most of the game's modes a whopping four days before the official release, and I feel ahead of schedule as I've beaten the campaign and the game hasn't even launched. Overall, the game was great, as we knew it would be, and I am in the unique position of being able to pump up the rest of you for the offical launch on Tuesday. I'll try to keep spoilers out of the article, but let's just say crazy shit goes down on numerous occasions, involving all of our favorite ass-kickers, Price, Soap, Nikolai, and the new guy Yuri (who isn't as new on the MW scene as he may seem...). We didn't get to play around with the multiplayer as we didn't want to risk banishment from the servers, but in addition to the campaign we also got to play the new survival mode and some of the special ops levels.
The special ops mode in MW2 was a great new addition to the game, and the special ops in MW3
continues the legacy of awesomeness. There are a total of sixteen missions that are divided into groups of four based on difficulty. The missions themselves are fun, but as in MW2, trying to do them as fast a possible is where the real fun is going to happen. You can take these missions on solo or co-op, and you still earn stars for each mission based on how well you do. The new mode, survival, seems to be Infinity Ward's contribution to the wave based game mode craze that has been sweeping through shooter ranks in the last few years. Much like Nazi Zombies in Treyarch's Call of Duty games, or Horde in Gears of War 2/3, survival sends a number of waves your way, with "boss" waves every ten, and the occasional helicopter wave. Luckily, they don't send you into endless battle without the proper equipment. There are weapons, equipment, and air strike crates in each level that allow you to buy and upgrade the guns of your choice to allow for the most efficient bad guy destruction. Unlike the buy-off-the-map style gun purchases in Horde and Nazi Zombies, you can actually use the guns you want, when you want, as long as you've earned enough money, and upgrade them to your specific play style. Spec ops and survival are great alternative play options, and will steal countless hours of my life in the future I'm sure.
The main part of the game that we looked at in this super sneak preview was the campaign. Without wanting to divulge too many of the game's secrets and twists, I cansay that the campaign is rife with the betrayals, heroics, and badassness that we have come to expect from the Modern Warfare franchise over the years. The campaign takes you all over the world, and one of the best early game sequences involves the operators fighting out onto the floor of the New York Stock exchange. Other awesome battle settings include African slums full of pissed off militias, under the Eiffel Tower in Paris, and inside a hijacked and stalling airliner among others. The size of the campaign is about the size of the other MW campaigns, and I was able to finish the entire thing in about five and half hours. The graphics haven't changed much since the last MW, but that isn't nesessarily a bad thing. The game was full of stunning laandscapes to fight across, the best of which, in my opinion, were the skyscraper-city scenes. Modern Warfare is not shy about taking the fight to the streets of America, and they tear New York apart in this game. The enviroment seems to be a little more destructible that in previous games, which is an imhem provement, but didn't get me as giddy as Battlefield 3's destruction potential does. The AI also seems to be a bit better in the campaign, as there were less whack-a-mole moments as you sit and wait for an enemies head to predictably pop out of cover. However, the enemies do seem the have the uncanny ability to always know where you are and only shoot at you even though you may be surrounded by allies. This wasn't always the case but was noticable. Your allies can and will be lost as you progress through the game, but they will be replaced by other generically named soldiers. Plot characters can't die, unless they're supposed to, so sticking near them is often a good idea, or essential.
Overall, the gmae was everything I expected it to be. I don't know if Infinity Ward could have possibly made a bad MW game at this point; just sticking to the formula and continuing the plot could have guaranteed them at least a good game. However, they eally made MW3 stand out from the others in a number of ways, from survival mode to the amazing visuals and fights in the campaign. The multiplayer remains uncharted territory, but with the rest of the game looking so good, I can only expect great things.
Smoking Nerd Score
Presentation- 9.0
Like all the Modern Warfare games, MW3 gives the player a fantastic combat experience from the main menu to the credits and beyond.
Graphics- 8.5
There were a few moments during the game when I noticed some patters were slow to load or remained fuzzy for too long. I also noticed numerous instances of the old limb sticking out of wall situation. This is made up for, however, by the stunning settings and environments the game takes you through.
Sound- 8.5
The firefights and effects sound awesome, and they lay off the army cliches so common in military shooters. This score would probably be a nine if my speakers didn't suck.
Gameplay- 9.0
What's not to love about awesome settings, super fun game modes, and a huge arsenal with which to destroy the evil Russians?
Replay Value- 9.0
MW3 could have some of the best replay value in recent memory, with an awesome campaign to beat, online multiplayers modes, as well as spec ops AND the new survival mode.
Overall SN score 9/10....Awesome

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Halloween May Be Gone but the Scares Continue

   I love Halloween. I mean I'm a college kid and let me tell you the girls are cute and wearing less then they would at the beach and the drinking is at a...well a medium really. For those concerned I am of legal age (now). Anyway another Halloween has come and gone and I will make due with the copious amounts of nerdy scary movies that exist in the world. Here is a personal list of what I consider the nerdiest of the horror genre. Granted just being into horror movies is pretty nerdy in the first place but I digress.

1. Gremlins (1984)

   I have loved gremlins from an early age. I was born in 1989 so I can only assume I saw it at around 5 or 6. Christmas and horror are just a great combination, no one expects bad stuff to happen at Christmas. Plus you start with a racist interpretation of a Chinese man in a mystic sundry shop selling a mysterious troll of some kind. Only we soon realize it's a freaking adorable Mogwai later named Gizmo (pictured to the right). But he comes with these seemingly inane rules (Something about only feeding them water at midnight? I'm sure its not important).  Which ,because the protagonist is a young lad, he is doomed to break. They turned into less adorable green trolls and cause havoc killing people around town until they conquer the town in gangster fashion. The cute mogwai saves the day and it ends with the people you care about living, good times all around.

2. Aliens (1986)
   Bombastic space marines with crazy futuristic weapons fighting off hundreds of Xenomorphs? Count me in. It starts with crazy awesome futuristic technology keeping a woman alive for 57 years continues into a fusion reactor plant meant to terraform the planet that is infested with xenomorphs. A bunch of the marines die and they find a girl named after an amphibian of some kind. It ends with a fight between a giant xenomorph queen and a bad ass Ripley wearing an exoskeleton. If they asked me what I would have wanted to see in an sci-fi horror movie (using some kind of time travel)  I would never have come up with something that awesome. Game over man...game over.

3. Predator (1987)

    Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ritually Homicidal Humanoid, A guy named Dillon, And inter species bare knuckle boxing. Nough. Said.

4. Alien (1979)

    One of the scariest movies of my youth and truly terrifying it was. It starts off with this cool futuristic space ship which is apparently DOS based and the cool awakening of the crew from cool frozen sleeping pods. Then they go to an alien planet with an alien spaceship that is warning people away from it but the evil company wants whats in there. How they slowly learn what the thing is that wrapped itself around the face of the British guy who then has a Xenomorph burst out of his chest is very interesting and increasingly frightening. Pair that with a psychotic synthetic human named Ash who truly admires the alien and you got a recipe for sci-fi terror awesomeness.





5. The Thing (1982)

       An alien monster that can disguise itself as other creatures as well as grotesque combinations of all those lifeforms it consumed. I haven't seen the prequel yet but I've heard pretty good things. Frozen space ships and ancient all devouring alien of unspeakable origin that causes a descent into paranoia amongst the research team. No one can trust anyone but must rely on others anyway its both legitimately scary due to a roaming monster that wants to kill you as well as deep psychological terror because anyone could be the alien. I love The Thing its one of my favorite scary movies of all time.

   I love scary movies and while Halloween may be over the movies are still there to watch and terrify me. So check these out if you haven't already (if that's the case I don't think your reading the right blog) and thank me later

Nerds Do It Better

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Be Wary of Lisa Hannigan!

Hello, my fellow nerds in nerddom. Your evil man with the evil plan, Sir Simon Milligan, coming at you with a bit of a nerdy bone to pick. As the music critic for this nerdly compendium of nerdosity, I feel it is not only my duty to bring you the latest in tunes that further the nerd mission, but also to warn against that which is not nerdy in the world of aural emanation. It is this duty that compels me to warn against a sprightly sprite from the Emerald Isle, one Ms. Lisa Hannigan.

Formerly of Irish neo-folk troubadour Damian Rice’s band, this wispy flower has released two albums to wide critical acclaim: 2008’s Sea Sew and Passenger, released just this year. An Irish brogue lilting a strong, expressive alto, Lisa Hannigan has also shown herself adept at many instruments, drawing from her genre’s spiritual past in bluegrass (banjo), Irish folk (mandolin, dulcimer), and rock and roll (electric guitar). Lisa Hannigan may, in the minds of lesser mortals, evoke images of Sinead O’Connor, Patty Griffin, or, oddly, Bjork. But those with my learned ear will know that Lisa Hannigan, though drawing from a deep well, is creating something hitherto unknown.

And you must ignore her at all costs. We, as nerds, reject out of hand the raw, unquantifiable force of emotion. We subscribe only to cold calculation, rationality, and line graphs. Lisa Hannigan’s broad range, vocal control, and touching lyrics serve only to fog the senses and cloud the mind, distracting from every nerd’s true calling: reducing everything to numbers, and knowing those numbers better than you.

In the interest of knowing one’s enemy, Dame Milligan and I recently saw Lisa Hannigan perform at the Double Door in Chicago. Picture a petite, shy woman, tastefully dressed and standing unassumingly, and then filling the tiny venue with such delicate sound that one worries to breathe, lest they shatter it like spun sugar. Picture a nervous, nearly breathless pixie, standing stock still until the music hits, then reacting to every single note, every single beat, as if in ecstasy so close to pain that the line between them blurs to nonexistence. Picture a woman so delighted to be granted a chance to share her craft and herself with others that she thanks us warmly and sweetly, and never stops smiling, even during the sad bits. Utterly meaningless!

I warn all you self-interested nerds out there, fighting the good fight, to stay clear of Lisa Hannigan. Don’t buy her new album, Passenger, don’t see her live, and for Evil’s sake, do not watch this video of her performing at a pub in Dingle, Ireland. This is for your own good.

Exclusive to Lisa Hannigan: If you insist on returning to Chicago to spread your brand of infectious pro-emotion propaganda, allow Dame Milligan and I to cook you dinner. I can be reached at this website. That is, vile demon!