TARDIS ahoy!

   I have recently fallen in love with Doctor Who and the entire crazy universe he constantly stumbles through like a drunken, yet successful, cat burglar through a laser field. Now I'm sure what many people have asked themselves, who are as obsessed as I newly am, is what they would do if they were in possession of the TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimension In Space). I know what I would do and I'm going to make sure YOU know what I would do too.

1. I would go to the time and place where the greatest video game system ever created was. I can only assume it would be the matrix except you're there willingly opposed to the whole enslaved humanity thing. And there would be different scenarios like being the king of a feudal era country or being a space marine fighting off hordes of intelligent insectoids. I of course would play the scenario where you get to bake pies and take care of puppies.

2.  I would travel back in time and slap a historically evil individual in the face with my penis. Most likely Hitler, Mussolini, or Mr. Rogers. I would then run back to the TARDIS with my pants around my ankles giggling. Why? Because it's funny to me, ok? OK?!

3. I would then kidnap a bunch of creationist and bring them to about 4000000 BC and tell them "your ancestors figured out how to live among these 5 ton predators, didn't they? I'm sure you can too." and then I'd just leave them there.

4. I arm myself with a shotgun, a machete, and a baseball bat with nails sticking out of it. I then head to planet zombie (there has to be one) and go to town. You know just for the weekend or whatever I can always leave when things get a little too dicey.

5. Lastly I would spend a day finding out if all that stuff that people say ancient aliens did really happened that way. How did the pyramids get built? Why did those people make that big dude you can only see from the sky? Why are the Kardashians famous? All the big questions.

   Well that's what I would do hope you enjoyed it. Lets all hope a device of such power never falls into a pair of hands like mine.

"Doctor, doesn't anyone notice the tardis?"
"listen, someone parks a mysterious blue box in the middle of the street. What do you do? Walk right past it.”-Rose and The Doctor