Krull! Retro Movie Review

What's up Ladies and Gentleman? It is your old pal Thulsa Doom, who has been allowed to contribute to this blog by the "Almighty Nerd," Dylan Winston. I'm here to talk about one of the greatest cult classic fantasy films of all time, Krull. Now I know what you're all thinking, "Krull? That movie sucked!!" And you are right. However I would like to point out that Krull is similar to such fantasy yarns as "Legend," "The Dark Crystal," and to a lesser extent "Ewok Adventure: The Battle for Endor." And what do all these films have in common? They are all awesome.

In Krull we see a classic story of good versus evil, in which our protagonist Prince Colwyn (played by Ken Marshall, who went on to star in such masterpieces as Operation Delta Force 2: Mayday) has his wedding ransacked by the dreaded Slayers, the minions of the Dark Lord who lives in the Black Fortress. This particular Black Fortress happens to transport to different parts of the world every single day. To make matters worse, his beautiful bride to be Princess Lyssa (and I mean beautiful, played by the spicy redhead Lysette Anthony) is kidnapped and arranged to be wed to the dark lord himself, OMG! In Prince Colwyn's quest to save the day, he is counseled by a wise old man, enlists the aid of a Cyclops who can foresee his own death, and assembles his own cast of merry men! On top of that, he finds and wields the most powerful weapon in all the land, the Glaive. Think oversized ninja star that returns to ones hand after being thrown like a boomerang, or the hammer of Thor (Mjolnir). In his travels, he learns a little bit about life, love, and what it means to be a man.

Now granted, this movie is a straight up cheese fest. Prince Colwyn's tights bring to mind thoughts of David Bowie's tights (and his all powerful bulge) in another classic 80's film, "Labryinth." (By the way, I could write a book on the awesomeness of Labryinth, but that is for another day) But despite the cheesy acting and cheesy outfits, this is classic sword and sorcery stuff bruh! There is awesomely 80's special effects, such as laser beams and horses that run so fast flame shoots out from their hooves. There is also shape-shifting, a delightful magician with a heart of gold, and a giant stop-motion spider! In true nerd fashion, its films like these that I absolutely love. Films of the 80's were not held down by such things as "realism," and "coherent and believable plot twists." If you can suspend your disbelief just a little, then you can watch a movie that might just remind you that life isn't all doom and gloom, and it is fun to indulge in a little ridiculousness every now and then.

I would like to sum things up by saying that this movie spawned a stand up arcade game, an Atari 7800 video game and a Parker Brothers board game when it was released in 1983, so how bad could it be right? It also has Liam Neeson, in what was his first ever film role! Eh, it also had a budget of 27 million dollars, yielding a paltry 16 million in the box office. Yikes...oh well, the decade of decadence!

5 out of 5! Do yourself a favor and watch this movie!